As you know, I am being spied on by a food delivery van. Now, I am a law-abiding member of the community, I break the odd law here and there, like crossing the road on the red guy, but generally I am a pretty honest sort of bloke, (you can translate that as ‘terrified of prison’ if you like.) So, I am not really sure why the Japanese government want to spy on me and I am pretty sure they will give up soon. At least that is what I thought until this morning, when things escalated.
I didn’t realise that I am a bit of a bird spotter. Every morning on the way to work I walk around the Shinobazo Pond and enjoy seeing the cormorants, herons, egrets, ibis and ducks, as well as the small little birds that are almost camouflaged in the grass. I’m excited when new birds appear, so I noticed today when there were new ducks in the water. A black duck, a tufted duck apparently. But was this a duck? I have never seen a duck that looked so dead behind the eyes, there was no way this could be a sentient being. Maybe it was duck botoxed to the eyeballs, or maybe it was a robot duck; another listening device, those cold dead eyes were cameras, the gentle gliding was all propelled by motors not feet. The authorities had no doubt read my blog, found that I was on to the Coop Deli ruse and come up with a new method. But why, Japan? Why? Why are you spying on me? What are you expecting me to do?
If you enjoy this, please buy my book. It's cheaper on Amazon but if you can buy it from the publisher direct it is better for them and might get me a second one published.
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